WW update...

Well I really wanted to give an update everytime I went to WW (Weight Watchers). This week has been so hectic that I haven't had a chance to post what I lost from my voluptuous body... 1 and 1/2 pounds. I know, it was a little disappointing, but it was a loss. I am definitely expecting a greater weight loss this Monday, but who knows. It is a total of 5 and 1/2 pounds... better than gaining I guess. I need to lose 10 more pounds just to be back where I was in September... suck! But then I can really feel better about myself. Anyway, wanted to thank everyone for their help and volunteering to walk with me, Thanks Jessica!!!! However, I have been so extremely busy with work, parent teacher conferences, yearbook, and children, that I am just not finding the time or energy to excercise. I am in no shape to excercise! I am really wanted to do more in the next coming months so we'll see if I can fit it in... I will let you know how it goes on MOnday!

P.S. Glad to hear Ed is not dying!

2009, year for Miracles...

Well, I am thinking that this is going to be an amazing year for me, my family, our state (Go Cards), and our country. I am very OPTIMISTIC this year. Friday, January 16th, 2009 will be a day I will never ever forget. It was like watching a movie, something that I could only imagine, but it was real and happening before my very eyes. Colby graduated, and I got to pin his badge on him. He is truly my HERO. Not because of his line of work, but this is a man that never gave up. He had a lot against him, but he persevered and succeeded. My testimony of PRAYER, fasting, and priesthood blessings have grown tremendously in the last 9 months. Now that my husband goes to work everyday and puts his life on the line, I will have to pray even more. I KNOW that my Heavenly Father loves me and my family. Wow, words just cannot describe how I feel. All I can say is if you ever wanted something, or wanted to become something, I know that ANYTHING is possible. I am a BELIEVER of hard work. 7 years ago today, I was pregnant, expecting my fourth child. We were financially strapped not because of debt, but because of construction and results of 9/11. Here I am 7 years later, I have a master degree, Colby is a Phoenix Police Officer, my kids are all in school, and I finally have financial stability in my life. Anything is possible if you have FAITH.

It is finally over...

Just wanted to let everyone know that Colby did pass his test... Woo Hoo... can't really talk, I need to get ready for work... but I know many people have been praying for us. Thank you.

In case you were wondering...

I haven't fallen off the deep end. I am no longer depressed... my depressions never last longer than 24 hours, life is too funny to be DEPRESSED! Ok, so here is my game plan... at school my friend Tiffany put together a biggest loser competition. All the grade levels are competing against each other to hold the title of Biggest Loser... I am just really excited to wear that crown. I have been running the stairs during my prep, after school, and the plan is to eventually get to my cousin's house to walk at least 3 times a week.
Okay, so are you dying to know how I did this week? You know, the weekly weigh in at Over Eaters Anonymous (Weight Watchers)? Okay, well four pounds are now missing from my voluptuous body. That's right, 12 more pounds and I will have all of this Holiday weight off and I can start focusing losing weight!
On a serious note, please say a special prayer for us... Colby took the AZ POST today and gets the results in the morning. It is not just a test, but a life change, a second chance, test of faith, pay off of perseverance, and most of all a dream come true for my husband. Thank you all who take time to read what is going on with the Holt's.

Depressed...

Okay, I know, depressed is a word that is used way too often. But I can say tonight that I feel so sad... I feel sad because just about 2 1/2 hours ago I had a wake up call. You know what I am talking about, the one that you are kind of in denial about and then it just comes out of no where and smacks you across the face? Well, yeah, that's the one. Yeah, I have been in denial since school started, what am I talking about? Well, my life story of course! My weight, yeah that's right, I am not afraid to say it, it is my weight. It is that hated word in my vocabulary that has been haunting me my whole life, WEIGHT! It has kept me from being happy at my most happiest moments, it sits and waits for me to look in the mirror in the morning, yeah the outfit is cute, the make up is perfect, my hair looks good, but who am I kidding???? Look, it can't be hidden with a smile, it is there for the whole world to see, my weight.
After I had Marley I took "IT" off with Weight Watchers and since then have been going back and forth between 20 pounds. But, not tonight. I joined Weight Watchers, seriously for the 12th time in my life (sad, huh?). And to my surprise, I am exactly what I weighed 7 years ago right after I had Marley. I have gained 16 pounds since the last time I joined WW back in September. Pathetic? Yeah, I know. It made me sick to my stomach. 47 pounds packed right back on. How did this happen? How could I possible let myself get to this point again, and I can't even blame it on a baby! NO, this time I get to take the responsibility all on my own. The saddest part is that I only weigh 10 pounds less than my husband. This is seriously out of control. Really, it is not only that I feel bad about my looks, but that I don't care enough about myself to take care of my body. For the longest time I have always tried to hide the fact that I am insecure about my weight, but tonight I realized that I don't want to hide and be insecure. I seriously need to face reality! Eating a freakin' doughnut from QT has it's consequences! I have to do something... I have to do more than Weight Watchers. I need a game plan... a serious one too.