Few questions:

If any of you have the answer to these questions, please leave a comment:

1.  Why is it that we try to raise our kids to do the right thing, but other adults contradict what we are teaching?

2.  Why doesn't anyone see that it isn't teachers not doing their jobs, but the ever changing dynamics in the family unit. 

3.  It isn't that teachers are racist but only 52% of African Americans and 55% of Hispanics graduate from high school, so why is there pointing fingers? 

4.  Why aren't people nice?

5 Why can't we all work a 4 10 week?

6.  Why can't we put a comment in our own FaceBook status without people leaving rude ones?

7.  Why is it that I ALWAYS feel so dang guilty for things I can't control?

8.  Why are there wars?

9.  Why does racism exist?

10.  Why can't I sleep?

11.  Why can't we live in peace?

12.  Why can't laundry magically get done at night when everyone else is sleeping?

13.  Why can't I keep my house spotless like every one else?

I think I actually feel better :)

Ray Holt April 21, 1944 - August 14, 2010

Ray at our Wedding, April 26th, 1997

Ray doing his life trade - approximately 1984

I have been waiting to do this post for a week and a half.  My father - in-law passed away last week of pneumonia.  He suffered from Alzheimers for the last 2 years.    My heart is aching so much, I find myself tearing up while I am doing my everyday routine.  Everywhere I look, something reminds me of him.  I know that I have to remember all the memories that I have created with him and share with my family. 

Ray,Kennedy, and I  - Christmas 1998

One thing I know for sure, is he loved his family, especially his children and grandchildren.  Like President Allen said, in some ways this was his fault, he loved them too much.  I remember him being over protective of our children.  Ofc. Holt and I have had several discussions about his dad taking over our children like they belonged to him.  Funny to me now, but at the time a serious issue.  I loved Ray.  I knew how much he loved us and cared about us that it swells my heart with pride.  He was so proud of us... i know this to be true.

He was so hard headed, I mean it!  I have never in my life met anyone like him.  When Ofc. Holt and I decided to live across the street from him, he moved us all by himself.  He couldn't wait until Ofc. Holt got off work, it had to be done, and so by himself, he packed up his horse trailer with all of our belongings and moved us in one day.  He had a smile on his face the entire time.  He was so excited, he could barely control himself.

Every Friday night, from the time we moved in till Lil'Colby turned school age, he asked for Bub to spend the night.  He loved him, he loved them all.

You could always depend on Ray.  No matter what obstacle Ofc. Holt and I would have in our young marriage, Ray gave all to ensure our happiness.  He loved his youngest son, so much.  I know that Ray's mind started going in 2004, but he couldn't have been more proud of Ofc. Holt when he graduated from the Police Academy.

 Ray was incredibly strong.  Up until two years ago he used to ride his bike from our home in Laveen,to the top of South Mountain, and back.  He Rodeo for 17 years and was a gymnast in College.

The funeral was amazing, and I know that is kind of a strange thing to say, but that is the word that describes it.  Tod and Ofc. Holt did such an amazing job in celebrating their father's life.  You were able to feel the love of family in that chapel, and I know I will never forget how I felt that day.  We will always love you!  God be with you til' we meet again.

I am going to miss you, Cowboy!

End of summer

Well the dreaded day is here... the day before I return to work.  I have been an emotional wreck.  Some may think it is ridiculous for me to be crying and upset... but I AM.  During the summer I can be that perfect mom:

1. I make cookies with the kids, just because

2. assist them on things they need extra help with like multiplication tables

3. cook an actual dinner and enjoy it

4.  allow friends to come over

5.  cuddle with Marley on the couch without a hundred things running through my mind

6.  watch the sun set from my back porch swing while listening to Don Williams or George Strait

7.  talk to Ofc. Holt about little things, nothing too important

8. go grocery shopping without a time constrant

9.  do laundry because I can, not because we have no clean clothes!

10. do the dishes when I feel like it

11.  Scrapbook and play with the cricut

12.  search the internet for crafts that I would like to do

13.  go shopping on other days besides Saturday

14.  enjoy my Saturdays instead of running around like a mad woman because it is my only day to run errands

15.  I can continue but I think you see my point...

I am sad, so sad... Ofc. Holt told me today that I needed to find a new job if I didn't like the one I am doing, but wait... I love my job!  It is just the chaos I feel the entire time from August to May!  The guilt I feel from not taking my kids to church activities because I have too many things to do, or just wiped out from the week.  Or feeling like I have to schedule time with my husband because we never see each other.  I hate feeling to tired to help my kids with homework or my patience has official ran out because I had a rough day, or my yucky commute 2 hours a day... the guilt, the guilt, the guilt just builds up...  

Did I mention that I hate meetings?  School meetings, one of the biggest waste of my time... that is what I'll be doing for the next 3 days... AAAAAAA!!!!!

Vacation...

I love this word.  Our first family vacation this year was going to visit my family in Kansas.  It was awesome!  I love it there, it is where my family is from.  I have so much family history there.  The house my grandma was born in, the first place my grandpa worked @ 14, the house where we visited my great grandma every year growing up.  I love it, as a matter of fact, I would probably consider moving there someday.  

The best part of this vacation, it was totally spontaneous!   Monday, June 21st.  We told the kids to pack their clothes for 7 days.  We packed our clothes and loaded the car in 3 hours!  We left our house @ 9 PM, and we were off.  The kids slept most of the way, and woke up at 1 AM to be told we were in New Mexico. 

They were so confused (we told them that we were going to San Diego).  We told them that we were actually headed to see Toto and Dorthy, Marley responded, "Are we going to Kansas?"  Yep!  They were totally surprised!  Ha ha, so was my family!  We had a fun trip even though it wasn't planned!

Here are some of our pics from the great state of Kansas

I'm a loser baby... so why don't cha

I feel so bad that I have allowed to get myself off the blogging track.  Mostly for myself that I haven't kept track of the important events of the last few months.  Here is a break down...

February - Found out Phx was laying off cops... oh dear, not good.  Very stressed.  However, exercising at least 3 times a week.  Bub made the JV Baseball team at school and Kennedy made it in the play... very proud of both of them.

He looks so much like his father.

March - Marley's birthday.  Turned 8.  Disappointed at the fact that she will be the only Holt child not baptized on her birthday, new rules.  Towards the end of the month, found out Ofc. Holt's job had been saved.  2% sales tax and some other cuts, there were not police or fire layoffs.  I got braces... they sucked, but helped me loose more weight.  I officially lost 25 pounds at this point.  Family reunion was great!  No pics, unfortunately!  Forgot camera.  Lost a dear friend, Jacob Whetten in Afghanistan.  RIP Jacob.  I am now reminded daily of a soldiers sacrifice for my freedom.  I placed a collage of Jacob's photos next to the American Flag that hangs in my classroom.  It reminds me to take a second and remember those who "gave all".

April - Got our family photos done!  Finally!  We haven't had a family photo professionally done in 8 years!  Scary!  Here's a few: all photos were taken by Rejli Woodeki

Marley's baptism.  I have never seen a kid more excited to be baptized.  She is great! 

Ofc. Holt and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.  I took the day off and we hung out in downtown Glendale.  Awesome.

May - Last month of school.  A great and exciting time for me.  I love that last stretch with my students and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel :)  The twins celebrated their 11th birthday... totally amazing.

 Here is a collage I was working on... these two are best buddies.
 It was a great month.  We finished up school and went on a short vacation without Ofc. Holt.  We went to Texas and visited with my family.  I will post pics later.

June - So far we have spent at least two days a week at wet n wild.  It is a blast!  We love it.  I have been enjoying hanging out with my cousin Jenel and catching up.  Also went to girls camp.  It was fun. I loved being incharge of crafts! 

The month isn't over. Ofc. Holt is taking a week off and we are going somewhere... not sure where we are going, but we are going on a vacation!  I will post pics!  I have been working on some math curriculum this month, which has been an honor to work with 3 other amazing women, and just for the record, women are amazing!  I am going to try my best to update my regularly... I don't know if I can do it daily, but at least once a week.

My New Life

Budget Meetings for Phoenix

I would just like to extend an invite to those of you who would like to attend the Phoenix Budget meetings to support fire and police in Phoenix.  Phoenix Police Department is already 450 cops short, and the city manager proposed to layoff 350 more officers.  This will devastate Phoenix.  http://www.azplea.com/images/stories/PDF_files/2010_budget_calendar.pdf
There are several meetings taken place in the Laveen and So. Mountain area.  The first meeting will be held at Carl Hayden High School.